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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

HUMOR: "AN ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER"

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This is from the internet. Supposedly, it's an actual letter to the passport office -- but who knows? All I can tell you for certain is that it made me laugh. :) --- JC Leahy

Dear Sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe
this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone
number and knows that I bought a cable t.v. from them back in 1987,
and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born
and on what date.For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all
the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my
health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight damn
passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms
I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last
30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at
election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my
mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be
absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when
I die!!!!!! I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you
an' me, I've had enough of this bull----! You send the application to
my house, then you ask me for my f------ address.

What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal ---holes workin'
there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't
want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for s--- sakes. I just want to go and
park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me,
why would you give a s---- whether I plan on visiting a farm in the
next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a
chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell
anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the
city and get another f------ copy of my birth certificate, to the tune
of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the
same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same
day?? Nooooo, that'd be to damn easy and maybe makes sense.
You'd rather have us running all over the f------ place like chickens
with our heads cut off, then find some ---hole to confirm that it's
really me on the damn picture - you know,the one where we're not
allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic f------ morons) Hey, you know why
we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!

SignedAn Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting
someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this
country since 1776 ........I have served in the military for something
over 30 years and have had security clearances up the ying
yang........However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who
I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND
RAISED IN INDIA !

Sincerely,You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who

And we want them to run health care?!?


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